What’s it all for…

So the training is going alright. Not great, but it could be worse. I mean, I bought a yoga ball and mat and skipping rope last week. I haven’t used them yet but I’ve been ill so I think that’s an okay excuse for not going to the gym – it would definitely be worse to make everyone at the gym sick too, right?

Either way, I’m sure I’ve got to be coming to the end of this horrific flu soon (please. Flu is horrible, one minute I’m warm and the next minute I’m freezing and I’ve sneezed at least 30 times today), and then I can really ramp up the fitness regime.

Speaking of illnesses, it’s about time I told you while I’m doing this – and compared to this, my stupid flu is absolutely pathetic. Check out my JustGiving page – here’s the story of what happened to my Nan and our family.

My Nan, Esther Lynagh, was without a doubt the toughest person I ever have and probably will ever meet. So I’m going to be facing one of my biggest fears by climbing Mount Snowdon in Wales this April, despite being incredibly unfit and having intense vertigo. It should be fun…. hopefully. You’ll understand why I’m doing this in support of The Royal Marsden if you fancy reading on. 

Nan passed away on 13th September 2014 and my family’s whole life changed. We saw my Nan every day – she was always more than a Grandmother in the traditional sense. She was our second Mum, our best friend and our strength through everything.

Nan was diagnosed with colon cancer when I was nine – almost fourteen years ago. She fought incredibly hard and even through the toughest times refused to give in. She made the hardest things fun – we had picnics at chemotherapy sessions and many “cancer bants”. Even during her last few weeks of life, we were by her side every day and managed to fit in a lot of laughter. There was never a question of “Why me?” from Nan – her answer was why not. Cancer can happen to anyone, at any point. It’s never fair and it’s never enough time. 

We had eighteen months longer than any doctor expected with my Nan, and I think a lot of that was her sheer determination to live(she always was incredibly stubborn and wouldn’t do anything until she was ready – when picking her up we’d call before we’d left the house to tell her we were outside – she always took another ten minutes). Unfortunately, as many of you know, determination isn’t enough to keep  someone going forever, no matter how much they want to.

So that brings we to why I’m doing this for The Royal Marsden. Without the support and work that the Marsden do, I doubt that we would have been able to get as much extra time with Nan. The staff at the Marsden were unfailingly kind and supportive (when Nan was told there was nothing more that they could do for her, she was the only person not to come out of the room in tears. She actually ended up comforting the very sweet nurse she had come to know over the past few years of being a patient there – that’s just the kind of badass woman she was); I imagine because Nan was their ideal patient. She tried experimental surgeries and drugs to see if it could buy her, and those who would come after her, a bit more time, and maybe eventually a cure.  The treatment was groundbreaking and they let her make decisions even when to many people it would seem like there weren’t many left to make.

My Nan was desperate to keep living, and we were desperate for her to keep living too. You can’t always get what you want in life, and this is just one of those things – but the more money we can give to centers and hospitals like The Royal Marsden, the more likely we are to start by buying someone extra time. Your donations (prompted by laughing at updates from me as I climb Snowdon, probably bleeding, sweating and crying, using the thought of “Nan went through far worse than this, you giant baby” to get me up a glorified hill) will go towards caring for the patients who are currently in The Marsden. They will go towards new trials, new treatments, new technologies; there’s endless possibilities as to what your money can do. But the simplest thing that it really will do is buy someone a little more time.

Whether it’s an extra hour, day, month, or year, when the time comes for it to be someone you love, you’ll treasure it. I know I did, and I’d like to do this to thank The Royal Marsden for giving our family a little bit longer with the most incredible woman I’ve ever met.  

So, if you have anything you would like to spare for this amazing cause, please donate. It makes a difference.

https://www.justgiving.com/Holly-Miller05/

So, how’s it going?

It’s been almost a month since my first post and I’m sure you’re all absolutely desperate to know how it’s coming along…

Well, slowly.

I have an idea to motivate me (more on that in my next post), which is a really good start! I have also actually FINALLY joined a gym. It was about time anyway and I know it doesn’t sound like much, but hopefully it’ll make a difference. I thought that perhaps the fitter I am and the more I focus on that, the less I’ll think about actually being thousands of feet in the air climbing up a giant rock with no experience or harness – I know a harness is ridiculous but I would feel a billion times better if it were possible to be harnessed to something very stable throughout the hike.

Anyway, after a few sessions I thought I’d give spinning ago. I did a class while I was at uni in Swansea (which I learnt very quickly is not the normal kind of spinning. In typically Welsh style it was incredibly laid back and casual and this is why I often miss Wales with all my heart), so I thought that I’d be totally fine.

I was in absolutely no way fine. 

Ten minutes in I genuinely didn’t think I would make it to the end – this is probably some horrible foreshadowing of how much I’m going to struggle with Snowdon, even though every single person I speak to still maintains that it’s no big deal. IT’S A FLIPPING MOUNTAIN HOW IS THAT NOT A BIG DEAL?! Anyway, I really thought I was going to be violently sick/have a heart attack/faint and fall off the bike with both feet still strapped in and break both my ankles.
Thankfully, I then realised that I had begun the class on the maximum bike-setting-knob-thing difficulty (what a plonker) so it then started to get a little easier!

Granted, the next day it got a hell of a lot worse when I lost all feeling in my bum, only for it to then regain feeling and for that feeling to be such extreme pain that even my favourite hobby (sitting down) hurt. But I felt pretty good – I’ve taken the difficult first step towards getting a bit fitter so that when the time comes to actually head up the mountain I don’t get halfway before fainting, smashing into a rock, breaking both my ankles and rolling down it into a ditch where I’ll be nibbled to death by the rogue sheep that I’ve heard are all over Snowdon.

The past week I have neglected the gym due to twisting my ankle (both ankles are generally pretty weak so whilst annoying, this was not unexpected – hense my fear of them breaking) whilst walking. To the bus stop about 30 seconds away from my front door. To take me two stops up a hill to the station. In my defense, I’d much rather have 10 extra minutes in bed before work than have to run up the hill and probably miss my train anyway and then spend the next 50 minutes stressed about being both late and so wildly unfit that the walk leaves me a bit breathless. But I’m planning on getting back into it and really trying to up my fitness levels quite rapidly now as there’s only ten weeks to go!

Anyway, I’ll give you an update soon on exactly why I’m doing this – it’s important to keep reminding myself otherwise I’d be very tempted to give up, cancel my gym pass and have a Twix or five.

Holly x

It all started with a trip to Nandos…

My friends and I love Nandos. We used to spend every Friday night at that horrible age (14/15) where you don’t really want to stay in on a Friday but before you can go out (to the pub… does anywhere else exist?) sitting in our corner booth in Nandos. We don’t go as often now, but when we do it still gives me that warm fuzzy feeling.

One of the girls asked if I wanted to climb Mount Snowdon some time this year. Obviously, I laughed. For those who know me, the hilariosity of this needs no explaining. For those who don’t, the best way I can explain it is that just yesterday, my siblings took great delight in telling me that the only place I walk to is the fridge. While this is true, it still hurt. Anyway, when she asked, I laughed. And then I thought about it.

Yes, it’s true that my gym membership has lain inactive since October (I’m 99% certain that I’ve cancelled it… hopefully) but I’ve been feeling the need to actually do something with my life. Like most people, I’ve felt particularly sluggish since Christmas – probably due to excessive red wine and roast potato consumption – and want to do something about it.

So, when last night a few of the girls and I attempted to book a holiday for Easter weekend and it all fell through, we decided we needed something to focus on, and the subject of the mountain came up again. I said I’d think about it.

It’s probably quite important to mention here that aside from being incredibly unfit (this is not an exaggeration – the first day back to work after the Christmas holiday, my legs ached. I don’t walk to work, I just get on the tube and go up/down some stairs. That’s it. In total I probably walk for 20 minutes a day.) I am also deathly afraid of heights. Seriously, terrified to the point that I end up crouching down like a constipated frog when I’m within 5m of the edge of anything. It’s ridiculous. So naturally, climbing a mountain hasn’t been something I’ve ever considered before. But now it seems I’ve not just considered it – I’ve decided to do it.

I’m going to use this blog as my motivator; if I can do this, I firmly believe that anyone can do anything (apart from my brother, who is still often told by our Mum that he can be an astronaut. Jake, you cannot do this. It will never happen). I figured that if I write it all down and put it out there that I’m going to be doing this, I won’t be able to back out.

And so my journey begins tonight, as I’m going to spend money on horrific lycra things that will make me look like a sausage stuffed into a condom, but apparently are essential when exercising. Huzzah. Wish me luck…